Addiction Has No Color

I know I broke your heart the day I started using drugs I'm sorry that your love for me was never quite enough I'm sorry that I ran when things were getting tough But let me clarify this for the ones who feel they need to judge You ever walked in my shoes? No, so you don't have a clue Why I used every day until I started to form a habit Before I knew what happened, I'm suddenly an addict That just wasted half their life, every dream that they had was shattered Now you're feeling hopeless, you're feeling broken, you're feeling battered Cause the dope that you've been chasing is the only thing that mattered You tried to break the cycle, you tried to break the pattern But the hole I dug myself was too deep without a ladder I Wish I could take back, wish I could take away your pain Wish that I could go get, get, get on track Wish I wasn't so ashamed Needed to just accept the fact That I'm the only thing to blame Straightened up my act, so I can make a change Mama, I'm sorry I let you down I'm sorry you don't understand Even if I never make it out, I love you to the very end Just got out the penn, I'm hoping deep inside I'll last longer than the weekend It's usually the time it takes for me to find a reason Every bit, every fiber of my being says to play with my demons So I need something different, something that I believe in I surrendered and accepted God, I'm defeated But I'm not beaten No one ever told me it's the secrets I've been keeping that made me sit alone and isolate I barely speak to people Cause my heart was full of hurt and hate How could anyone ever relate No one really cares about me, I should go and hibernate Somewhere by myself Where I can constantly replay the tape Of how I messed it up again And now it's probably way too late I know what the therapist would say I need to open up so that's what I did And bam, a brand new day I finally got it right Not before I got it wrong I wish the same for all my friends But most of them are dead and gone I share openly to raise awareness On the dangers of addiction when you're young and careless So before you point the finger Be careful, it could be your family it could be a stranger I love you mom You always gonna be there for me You always gonna be the number one in my life Happy Mother's Day