honest

If I'm honest with myself About what I was feeling About what I was reeling from Could you even see it? Was there something to be noticed? What good would it do for me To resurface memories To think about all the times I've come undone? Woah, woah I'm sick of writing sad songs Sick of thinking "what's wrong" Sick of shaking hands and bad thoughts Sick of carrying boulders Sick of thinking "hold her" Sick of sobbing into pillows and shoulders If I'm honest with myself If you were honest with yourself Would you even recognize The image you hide behind What reality feels like versus the show you know? Where did you go wrong? Could you point it out? Trace it back to when they first started To when it got loud Could you understand What it meant to be human? To try and put aside the lies, the masks to try to face them There's screaming inside your head You try to null it out instead Spiraling deeper into distractions that never leave your bed Woah, woah You're sick of hearing sad songs Sick of crying "what's wrong" Sick of shaking hands, and bad thoughts Sick of laying frozen of crying "no one knows it" Sick of only finding peace in your headphones If you're honest with yourself If I'm honest with myself What did I lose And what did I gain What was joy And what was pain I think I forgot myself Even my name I think I forgot myself I'm sick of writing sad songs Sick of thinking "what's wrong" Sick of shaking hands and bad thoughts Sick of carrying boulders Sick of thinking "hold her" Sick of sobbing into pillows and shoulders I'm sick of singing sad songs Sick of knowing what's wrong Sick of doing nothing to turn it around Sick of laying in my bed Sick of voices in my head Sick of living when everything around me feels dead If I'm honest with myself