The Feeling

I get the feeling These people Just think I'm silliness Laughing and joking Around at the shit That I'm dealing with I hope my willingness To share is making you care About what's wrinkled here Writhing beneath my curly hairs It has got you staring Ears wide-out to hear it Though, you, listening To my soul is some kind of miracle But we can't hear it so I crave your attention So focused on getting that I crack, when Other shits stay on, they own tracks In fact, most times, when I start thinking That maybe... when I'm talking To myself, I'm actually... crazy And I wanna push that ass back From the forefront of my mind Which at it's core is kinda hard To do. Like asking who the finest Marvel of the Marvel crew And if it's hard for you to understand Where I'm coming from, take a fast Or starve yourself for a star cycle or two Of all that something, all that bullshit Maybe I'm pretentious Maybe I'm sorry. Maybe But I'm not sorry about my aptitude Your attitude is rude to me Your non-knowledge is lewd to me Your foolishness is fuel to me Taking all this time to tongue all over Such a hard-candy beat It's a fantasy, but I get the feeling I get the feeling When I turned five I learn I couldn't stay alive It wasn't a biggie 'til I started Having visions, ascending At incredible speeds, It was All white though, Until I hit The blackness: attractive I could feel my body morphing Expanding into infinity's serenity I was simply scared witless I switched off my witness It was too late to open up my eyes though The greatness of God had burned into my psychos Oh, maybe, that's why I always seemed so psycho Entranced with death, only alive for a cycle Is that pathetic? The type of tale a child tells? So I sorta kept it inside Fearing to peer at it again I was recreant Started bottle-necking it Outside of my body in doses To anyone who came closest to me Giving me compliments Saying what I ought to be But I lacked the sort of drive Someone whose alive with have I'd died too many times for that That life was superficial Got a lot o' laughs from pretense Yet the artificial was the only matter for my intents But maybe past is the wrong tense Since I know I that I will die forever I won't spend my life Pretending I am dead Incessant keeper of secrets A liar desired to confide in no one By holding unopened I know that my only release is in beats An iamb of retreat Will discreetly completely me And bring me to you If I'm singing to you So I write, and I hope That I'm nice with the poems That music will fuse us We'll lose all control and combine Beyond time and space My, my, My Friend The chase is lie In this game we're all spies Till we die And I know I that I will die forever I won't spend my life Pretending I am dying