A Fine Romance

A fine romance With no kisses A fine romance My friend this is We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes But you're as cold as yesterdays mashed potatoes A fine romance You won't nestle A fine romance You won't wrestle I might as well play bridge with my old maid aunts I never get a chance This is a fine romance A fine romance My good fellow You take all of that romance And I'll take that Jell-O You're calmer than the seals in the arctic ocean At least they flap their fins to express emotion A fine romance With no quarrels With no insults And all morals You're just as hard to land as the Île de France I never get a chance This is a fine romance A fine romance With almost no kissin' A fine romance My friend this is True love should have the thrills that a healthy crime has We don't have half the thrills as the March of Time hasA fine romance With no clinches A fine romance With no pinches You never give the orchids I send a glance No, you like cactus plants This is a fine romance