Pangs (feat. Endr)

Lay awake, eyes wide, five in the morning Grave mistake, deep inside, bottle pop forming 6am finally the alarm sings Sick I am, mentally; pawn takes king Tear my body out of bed, and convince myself That years ago what I did was someone else Outside in the cold, I wait for the bus Climb inside, sit down, alone with my thoughts Ready to work ignore the hurt and flirt with Shirley - good distraction But it's not long before my conscience comes back asking Do you remember what the f*ck you did Do you feel too guilty to have that kid It doesn't have to be another day in the life You could sit her down and you tell her tonight You could admit to that shit you did Good hermit, bottle up, Insist on distance instead It started with cathartic compartments of hardened apathy And parted waves in oceans I didn't know were contained in me Drained the remainder of traits I painted with strangers And ate the ages of amber that I'd upgraded to standards It's scant but it's amped up, cramped and clamped to my cup I'm camped on couches in houses that need a mountain of love I'm sittin' spoutin' my mouth, slouched, announcing my doubts And found I failed to account for facts I figured profound Bound to bottles and bruised by abandoned handles of booze I've had my hand in the juice while I pandered pain to the blues So man I cut that shit loose, vamoosed the vermouth Ran the numbers again, bent 'em, ended up still confused See, I said it'd never take precedent over The efforts I gave to abstain from the odor But nevertheless I'm in over my head And I've settled for less than I ever would sober I'm out of defenses and cannot repent it's A cloud that endows me and makes me acquit Too proud to escape this degraded enslavement Back to the basics I'm hugging the pavement