Burn Down the House

Black tie party up in Beverly Hills I'm rockin' Vans and a sweater cause I'm keeping it real Actually, I didn't get the memo These housewives look me up and down like I'm mental But I don't really care I think they're more crazy with their fake boobs and fake hair Gotta ten grand dress and a designer bag I got my clearance jeans and they still got the tag See I'ma always live cheap I hear there's shrimp cocktail homie let a brother eat Grab myself a plate get a steak and a Pork Chop Call me Doug Funny cause I make your dog laugh a lot Oh, so there's a pool downstairs But there's free liquor here so I ain't going down there I ain't trying to get drunk I just love the word "free" Let me spell it out, I'm B-R-O-K-E You know, I'm that dude That came for, the free food I won't take thirds I ain't that rude I make a, fool out Of myself I don't, need no help Everyone wanna paint the town But I'm burning down the house Wow, they're all business professionals I made them laugh it was not intentional Feeling trapped I snuck away to get some food Eat myself to death I'll have a buffet at my funeral Packing my pockets and stuffing my socks man Asking the waiter for a to-go box I hit the bathroom but there's a line for days I hit the back yard and take a piss in the alleyway Rich house party turning into a weird dream Old ladies dance on my friend like he's James Dean They try to get me in the middle of a conga line Sorry grandma, isn't it way past your bedtime? I dance by myself, and teach them how to Dougie Move like a white 6th grader and they all love me Center of attention at the center of the dance floor Did I fail to mention that they begged for an encore? Staying true to the 10's with my 3 or 4 friends This Never Ending Story never ever gonna end While these other dudes play pretend Like they hanging out with Falcor every other weekend Sound like a lie to me Dude my wife and my dog are really all I need You can take the money you can take the dream You can stay "woke" cause I'm living the dream Just wanna move people don't wanna be Regal Cause you got one life and there ain't no sequel Wanna give you love wanna make you peaceful Wanna lift you up when you on pins and needles man If at the end of my life songs never make a dime Well, I don't know. That would be mildly depressing I Try not to think about it