Samuriah Carey

There’s a chemical in my head that was there once but now it’s dead Defunct emotion and confused perception, a pained expression Hurt to feel so I declined, never meant to be so unkind Hiding from the shadows existing within my mind Someone asked me if I was content with the way things were in my world Don’t you want to taste forever? Hold life in the palm of your hand? Don’t worry about the hearts you’ll break, the dreams you’ll throw away, you’ll have brothers in sorrow He said you might as well die today, why wait for tomorrow? Following the steps of beat-down and broken men Wading through the consequence of problems I’ve created for myself I’m lost I’m lost Searching for the person I was before I forgot what it meant to be in control Of myself, and not of everything else around me It’s time to let go, it’s time to free myself from these chains No more relying on empty promises built on torment By others more crippled than myself No more lowering myself to the level of the walking dead I’ll claw my way out if I have to on hands and knees To remember what life was like when I used to be me And not a shell stuck in a haze A clarity worth more than gold This time I won’t throw that away My future lasted longer than the devil told me it would And now the structure of the life I’ve neglected comes crumbling down I’m left with the ashes and rubble and now I have to start from nothing again Maybe I’ll get it right this time I’ll figure out what I’ve been missing