(Pruning)

And here I find myself again Feet facing toward the waves and wind Seemingly uncertain of who I am Yet somehow unwilling to give up Limb by limb I lose myself To a God who knows me well Well enough to know What it is that my soul so desperate needs Him I feel I'm losing grip rapidly Of my perception of reality And still, I find myself Settling for the unsatisfactory Searching, searching for a cure To see beyond this faded blur And yet the only thing I see Is pain and more uncertainty But though I feel lonely I am not alone And though I feel broken I find these pieces falling into place slowly Slowly is the pace I'm choosing To win the race I once was losing So what am I to make of this? To endure all this suffering only to try And muster up a fake form of gratefulness? Or could it be that it is to grow back again This time, looking just like Him? What if I'm actually right where I'm supposed to be? And this whole season is really me Growing into who I'm meant to be In the midst of yearning To feel loved and finally set free What if all I'm laying down So openly on the ground Is the only way to surrender All the things I once found That slowly grabbed hold of me And became my new priority So As I'm being pulled tight by either side Suspended in this tension Of discerning what's wrong and what's right I'm learning to find comfort in what I cannot see Because at the end of the day He's been God Longer than I've been me