ANXIETY

Anxiety A black wave pulling you down every time you swim to the surface You break down into pieces everyday trying to fade away You stop breathing But for some reason Your heart is still beating You start to wonder and you question God What did I do wrong to deserve this pain ? Did I make you mad in anyway ? And If that's the case Lord Please forgive my mistakes I'am only human but I can no longer take this pain Tears falling down my face while I say a littler prayer Yes you know best Momma thought me well I talk to God but he doesn't a word back It's like talking to an empty white wall I sit and think about the day I will cry at your grave And I can't help but feel sad and blue So I write my pain away But theirs a lot of anger in me too Anxiety and depression came knocking to my door So the devil said "honey your home" Chills down my spine Voices in my head I remember them saying "she's ours she will commit suicide any day" And I still fight these demons once a month because instead of feeling "better" I get suicidal thoughts I probably cry every other day because time doesn't heal anything It's only a famous saying they say I`ve got a broken heart and a crumble soul But I still show up for those who I love the most Wake up in my bed ready for another day I'am sorry i meant to say ready to fight anxiety again I wish it was me and not you Because not seeing your face only adds up to my pain And I'am self conscious I write too many poems about you Its not you it's me I still can't face the truth I cry when I'm lonely sitting in my living room I look around like if I'm waiting to see you But your not here your with God and I can't visit you So I will sit here and continue writing these poems about you