Garden Variety

It's okay to let me know You love me a little less Than you did when we first met It's okay for you to tell the truth Even when it's hard to breathe out Scared I might choke on the air My lungs might give out But I've grown tough ribs From all of my crying fits If you punch me I'm afraid I might not feel it So hit me extra hard When I'm scared and it's dark Counterintuitive But I never said I was quotidian You won't find me In your garden variety I won't be the one You find conventional I thought that I loved you But it was only the memories I have a hard time feeling But I felt a lot when you were here with me I'm not a masochist I just don't know how to exist Without someone beating me down I miss the sound of you drowning me out It's gotten quiet I miss the screaming It gave me a sense of meaning I'm having a harder time believing In anything other than Jesus You won't find me In your garden variety I won't be the one You find conventional I thought that I loved you But it was only the memories I have a hard time feeling But I felt a lot when you were here with me And you won't find me In your garden variety I won't be the one I have a hard time feeling But I felt a lot when you were here with me