Drinking on Christmas

I’m drinking on Christmas Like Dean Martin on a binge Mixing margaritas with a mistletoe twist Give me a kiss I’m drinking on Christmas I’ve been a good boy Now I’m alone by a tree Waiting on Santa to bring my baby right back to me I’m drinking on Christmas I hear the clip clip clip of the reindeer Or am I hallucinating on my fifth beer I think a fat guys’ coming down my chimney I bet he’s in the mood to take a shot with me I hope he’s the only witness I’m drinking on Christmas A big plastic Rudolph was looking at me wrong Now he’s lying in about a million tiny pieces on my neighbor’s lawn He pissed me off Watching icicles melt into my whiskey Claymation’s freaking me out on the TV I lift my glass to her picture the mantle And nearly burn my fingers off with a candle How I deck my halls ain’t none of your business I’m drinking on Christmas This bottle’s empty And I gotta go So I step outside and try to write my name in the snow Forget the wish list I’m drinking on Christmas Hark the hammered angels sing I’m drinking on Christmas