Because of You

Wish I could write this song with a positive twist But I have this fear tying up my wrists And I just can't fight, find an end in sight That'll make it make sense And I know that it's not all men But one man made me afraid of this Afraid of love, afraid of trust Afraid of giving too much But I wanna trust myself to not fall for the lies and the deceit Wanna trust myself to believe that I'm worth more than what they see And even if I trust myself, now I'm still scared that that will change Because after all these years, the memories still remain Even after all these years Why do I still take the blame I guess I wanna write this song just to write it down Just to let it go, just to let it out Just to make you see This meant more to me than you ever did, and You were wrong about every single thing And you'll never laying another hand on me I know my worth, I won't let me down And it's been a struggle up till now But I wanna trust myself to not fall for the lies and the deceit Wanna trust myself to believe that I'm worth more than what they see And even if I trust myself, now I'm still scared that that will change Because after all these years, the memories still remain Even after all these years Why do I still take the blame I'm afraid of intimacy And the next time a man lays his hands on me Might send a shiver down my spine Cause I'm so fucking terrified Of what his hands might do And it's all because of you You never hit me But you did so much worse And you'll never admit it Cause every time you'd hurt me You just justified or just denied it And I may never have the proof But you know what you did But I can't keep letting your abuse Stay under my skin I know what you did So I'm gonna trust myself to not fall for the lies and the deceit Cause I know my worth is not tied To anything you've done to me And I finally trust myself now And if that were to ever change I'll remember you and me to remind me to walk away Because after all these years I know I'm not the one to blame Finally after all these years I know I'm not I know I'm not I know I'm not the one to blame