Depraved

Here I lie, enveloped by darkness My fear soothed by her unconsciousness What I'm about to do, I know I will regret But I don't know how to deny myself yet So I clutch my phone And turn to private mode My soul weighed down By this secret untold I try not to panic My heart Scared and frantic But here I go My eyes are hypnotized by the obscene My ears are entranced by moaning and screams I know they're not as happy as they seem But their game of pretending brings pleasure to me The high comes, and I'm in ecstasy But as it descends, I feel the grief My eyes are open with new clarity So sickening that my heart starts to sink How depraved could I be? I thought this vile video would fill the void But it's only left me even more paranoid I'm filled with guilt and sorrowful with shame But through it all, I will forget this pain I know that this habit Wreaks havoc on me But those seconds of bliss Make it all worthy I'm stuck in a cycle In a downward spiral Where is peace? My eyes are hypnotized by the obscene My ears are entranced by moaning and screams I know they're not as happy as they seem But their game of pretending brings pleasure to me The high comes and I'm in ecstasy But as it descends, I feel the grief My eyes are open with new clarity So sickening that my heart starts to sink How depraved could I Of that jubilant girl, I'm a hollow shell Who spent her very life building a private hell Right now, I wish I could be anyone else God, please don't punish me I already hate myself Help Help Help Oh Lord please I'm begging I need help Every time I try to leave They attack me in my dreams My eyes are hypnotized by the obscene My ears are entranced by moaning and screams I know they're not as happy as they seem But their game of pretending brings pleasure to me The high comes and I'm in ecstasy But as it descends, I feel the grief My eyes are open with new clarity So sickening that my heart starts to sink How depraved could I My eyes are hypnotized by the obscene My ears are entranced by moaning and screams I know they're not as happy as they seem But their game of pretending brings pleasure to me The high comes and I'm in ecstasy But as it descends, I feel the grief My eyes are open with new clarity So sickening that my heart starts to sink How depraved could I be?