Appointment Anxiety

I am going to the doctor tomorrow It's something I've been putting off for two years I am going to the doctor tomorrow I think I should probably feel relieved But I don't I don't, I But I don't I don't, I Going to the doctor is like admitting there's a problem And I always feel better in denial I like dissociating I like leaving my body And flying away into music or a movie with my brain And sometimes I like leaving my brain behind And flying away, only feeling my body But not when I'm afraid that my body's all fucked up I am going to the doctor tomorrow Because I didn't go back when I knew that I should I am going to the doctor tomorrow I think I should probably feel relieved But I don't I don't, I But I don't I don't, I But I'm going to the doctor tomorrow Because I want to comfortably dissociate from my brain And feel safe in my body again