The First Cut

The first time I told you I loved you I was calling you with minutes on my old prepaid phone I'd just washed down a bottle of aspirin With my roommate's last two wine coolers while she wasn't home Sitting in a hot bath holding a razor I said I'd kill myself before I'd let you leave me And I started to cut Then shouted by the way I love you And then I just hung up I sliced through a capillary but it still hurt like hell I didn't even try the other arm It made me cry harder that I was too weak To even be good at self-harm You came over a few minutes later I thought to be my savior But you brought a bandage and a condom Probably so I wouldn't get blood on your shirt You finished quickly and left And I wished I'd had the strength to finish too Instead of going through six more years of hurt The first time I told you I loved you I was calling you with minutes on my old prepaid phone I'd just washed down a bottle of aspirin With my roommate's last two wine coolers while she wasn't home Sitting in a hot bath holding a razor I said I'd kill myself before I'd let you leave me And I started to cut I shouted by the way I love you And then And then I just hung up