self sabotage.

I used to sit back and Watch my world cave in Often just wishing for the bitter end But I didn't bend I never did transcend To change myself Be someone else to mend and then I always falling apart Trying to play the perfect part Instead I was numbing my fragile hart When all I was doing was Trying to get a head start I guess all along I wasn't that smart Wish I could, wish I could Blame it on my split personality Or selfish fucking greed But it was never my counterpart It was me who was losing it Drowning and grabbing at the weeds Like I could ever escape me And get away with becoming The me I really need I'm never gonna be The me I really need I'm too fucking lonely My mind a chaos stampede Wreck everything right before I succeed I call this... Self-sabotage Self-sabotage Self-sabotage Tell me truthfully Have you ever seen Someone this goddamn crazy My head just keep son screaming and yelling And punishing the hell out of me Am I addicted to the existential sadness Do I really love the madness Can we blame my chemical imbalance My brain is whimsical Not religious, fucking spiritual Maybe one day I might really get to know me So set on becoming me But I'm so afraid of Self-sabotage