where's your god

You preach I'm alright and only making up Shit in my head "It's what He designed, you're getting stronger With each step" She says, it's a phase, elaborate plan to get Attention from the web He leaves, my words unsaid, he's decided His beliefs, hasn't heard me I myself Don't know the reason If I did, I'd proudly scream it What's the reason? If I knew, I'd proudly scream it Where's your god when I hold a knife And wonder if I tried Would I be taken seriously for the First time in my life? If I give in to this thoughts, will it silence The hurt? I don't wanna deal with the mess if it doesn't work I feel sick from the alcohol I feel sick inhaling chocolate smoke I feel sick from everything that made me numb before That's a sign I should get going But I still hold on But I still hold on When I'm clean, the melodies are turning on And they follow like the vultures, I'm all alone If they get to close I might just loose The final straw Where's your god when I hold a knife And wonder if I tried Would I be taken seriously for the First time in my life? If I give in to this thoughts, will it silence The hurt? I don't wanna deal with the mess if it doesn't work Car lights only seconds away Do I stay or throw it all away? Flames only millimetres away Oh, help me, should I stay? Find me a new reason to keep making mistakes Or anything at all to make me climb up On unlit stage