Soar & Cry

You just wanted the high You just wanted the high, high You just wanted the high You just wanted the high, high You said I'm too special to you But made me feel like I'm an oddity that would never fit you And then you said, you don't know what to do So we continued to screw You said I'm pretty and cute But yet I feel that I don't ever suit You well enough You're afraid and unaware of what you're facing You never thought you might (What a fright) And now you don't think you're able to I was amazing (Cause I loved you) It felt like it's some kinda plague It was like a dream But all of a sudden I knew I'm awake It hurts, it burns, and it turns me upside down And then my heart unfurls As I cry with no sound I still control my shakes But every minute it takes Is a torture to me You talk but every time you speak I gotta feeling you lie to me So my heart gets bleak Every time, every time I've buried myself inside And faced everything with eyes open wide Yet it took too much to reach the balance I tried Though too fucked up with lies Though conditioned to die I got better in my head And much more cynical in bed I've lost all my beliefs and choked on all of my dreams Cause in truth nothing is really what it seems I belied myself so that I could hold on Now take a one good look at what you've done to me! Come on! Now, I can fly cause I can see why You made me feel this way Now I can fly cause now I know why You hurt me so much that I wanted to die Now I can fly cause I can see why I let myself get drawn into a lie Now I can fly cause now I know why I needed validation, your ego needed the high Now, I can fly cause I can see why You made me feel this way Now I can fly cause now I know why I've been in so much pain and wanted to die Now I can fly cause I can see why I let myself get hooked on a lie Now I can fly cause now I know why I gave you my heart but you just wanted the high You just wanted the high You just wanted the high, high You never met anyone like me That's what you told me when love-bombing me extensively You didn't know what to expect Oh, please! You knew what you'd get If only you wanted to Know the person you met I thought, "God gave me you, god gave you me But you're a human so you can't take it easily" I was unsure but now I know what I've been Just an exotic sex toy, a codependent plaything Did you wanna take my life? I just wanted to know what for did I strive For you, for me, for us, for god's sake? You tasted and smelled like my destiny and it made my heart ache You asked me why was I by your side Why would I confide I couldn't explain I guess, because it was so self-defeatingly alright To pick a guy who couldn't love me back And acted like a self-centered child You never believed me So fucking scared to believe me You were so insecure but couldn't really leave me It's all because I was such an awesome supply Took me forever to figure out why I needed validation You needed the high On the altar of your ego I prostituted mine I reveled in the darkness and self-destructive pain Until I hit rock bottom and couldn't do it again You said I was too special to you So I took it for love and didn't know what to do And then you made me soar and cry, and cry The more we slept together the more I felt like I died But now, you're gone for good And it's been quite a while So rest in peace, what had to happen happened It was immature, infantile We gave our demons power Indulging one another