You Won't Ask

One day, I woke up from a dream Thinking I'm fine and ok but nothing was the same You know, I used to think I loved you so much more But I was insecure, and weak, and acted like a whore Because it's glorified The casual casual casual sex mantra seemed so dope Until I found the abyss at the end of the rope With no heart, with no future, no home, and no hope You won't bother (I wish you could've been saved) Won't get sober (Can't get out of the grave) Won't get worried (Oh, the karma, the fate) Won't be sorry ('cause now, it's too late) It all turned out so dumb, we used to play this game of I'm the masochistic sub, and you are the brutal dom It was cool at the time, and much needed, I guess Pain therapy and pleasure to relieve the stress I wanted to laugh my head off God, that patch was rough And nothing was ever enough You had a thing for wine I had a thing for you Hands down asinine! What a fucking waste of What a fucking waste of time! It was odd when I got So used to your bends They were like carcinogens To me Finally I can admit I've been wrecked Embracing pain and neglect This fucking calamity made me sick and bittersweet I've been a codependent addict, and my drug was you 'Cause I was hooked up on this kindness and empathy narrative drool I set no boundaries. F*ck me! I've been an idiot Low self-esteem, incipient You won't bother (I wish you could've been saved) Won't get sober (Can't get out of the grave) Won't get worried (Oh, the karma, the fate) Won't be sorry ('cause now, it's too late) Masochistic (I've been nymphomaniacal) Narcissistic (You've been megalomaniacal) Perfect escape (Self-punishing) Into a hellscape (Sex was astonishing) It felt sexual to be left in the cold To be broken, and to be controlled Neglected, rejected, and disrespected What a train wreck! It's been so sick and demented I kept asking myself why, why, why? Well, that's because we both wanted the crazy high A spiral of death with no love in sight A safe haven for our demons in broad daylight You won't ask me why I shed bitter tears You won't ask me why was I buried in fears You would've never asked 'cause you couldn't understand And I get it now but you're already dead But asking would've been pointless and wouldn't make any sense It was none of your business that I've been such a mess And it wasn't my job to cuddle your ego and be your momma My shit was mine, your shit was yours, end of the drama You won't bother (I wish you could've been saved) Won't get sober (Can't get out of the grave) Won't get worried (Oh, the karma, the fate) Won't be sorry ('cause now, it's too late) Masochistic (I've been nymphomaniacal) Narcissistic (You've been megalomaniacal) Perfect escape (Self-punishing) Into a hellscape (Sex was astonishing) I'm taking ownership of myself I'm taking ownership of myself I'm taking ownership of myself Of myself What a waste of time asking why Get out of the cycle, stop loving a lie What a waste of time asking why Get out of the cycle, start living a life What a waste of time guessing why It doesn't matter, time to heal, and accept, and get a life What a waste of time guessing why It doesn't matter, time to heal, and accept, and get a life What a waste of time asking why What a waste of time asking why What a waste of time guessing why What a waste of time guessing why