Under These Shades

Addiction is back It happens again I keep it behind my family's back The content I dream is the memories I had When will I at last relent on my past Fully attached to my cigarettes pack when this anxiety lands on my brain Stay with my habit get called a disgrace Don't know what's going on inside my head from the trauma Or was my heart found me a shelter? Now it's disappearing like these seasons But it never recurs with depression, highly infected Labelled as an outsider, just like a heathen Questions I have every day I asked God once am I blessed Has been a while, not a word being said Eventually, it starts to get a little bit scary Under These Shades Constantly work on these scribbles on these walls it's turning into my own slogan I'm writing down thoughts I have gathered them over these layers of paper from the episodes of my status My mind is a C4 that can be uncivil The unbroken soon to be fractured They test my resilience 24/7 escaping these voices It's leaving me restless still put on my tough demeanor Not a preacher Just like you, we're just a dreamer Find ourselves in the dark we are probably a creature As if we were given a sentence Intoxicate, was my only procedure Dad left us to heaven we didn't get better And since the day mental health not just the matter So, what's be the next is my only direction If underrated continues to be forever That's my liability to bear the burden If my daily problem is the only reason It's the question that I generated from the action Seeking for the answer that will get me to my freedom People keep on telling me to leave my comfort But that's where my imagination gets the picture where I felt connected Even getting out the circle still feel suicidal Purpose I am breathing at the moment is because of all the failures that I've learned What's with the scars on my heart I was a kid, used to ride in a bike, running under the sun With the feeling, the love of a son Vividly remember how it would sound Laughter and fun, that's what it was Chillin in front of the yard Never get bothered by all of the thoughts Then it all took on a spun Took on a hit since a child Fell for the trap was that once Hustle to get out the slump Still in the place to become What I had from the pain turning me numb All my doors keeping em shut Don't wanna double my wound I know I gotta step for my ground But my fear making em growl for the hunger They surrounded my course in a crowd till it clouded my vision I lost my position It came in outrageous I need me the antidote as the solution This delirium forming in various Got to my state of mind feeling the eeriest Prolly should sign up for Insidious Title that Conjuring In My Ears Film a scene of myself at my worst Listen here don't wanna interfere when I work Watching the blood that I bleed for nobody Self harm in the crib it's so terrific Hated myself for what's happening and I made me my own enemy Realized that this ain't the right remedy Maybe I'm just overdramatic 2019 didn't work well for me While the darkness was creeping inside of me I'm turning this emotion into my artistry Uh what's that sound Whole new chapter comes the thundercloud Once nobody I had to bow down Fought the evil from the underground Those who's closer to me had left me to drown Now I'm rapping out my crib with my style Got a team I've never been proud Life has got us endured through rounds Just like an artefact Coming in imperfect Been through denial by eyes for the way I portrayed I'm not the best but the cream of the crop with this trait Pick up the pen, start to write on my pad It's making some sense that they don't even care Well, every endeavour, I gained what I sweat Created my legacy, brought some respect to my name From Under These Shades