i am

If there was a chance that I Really could be your guy I might just smoke my old Life in the black and mild I get so hyper fixated on Where you have been And who you have dated I hate to say this But I've become jaded I want revenge Or to be sedated I'll lay in my grave And count down the days Till you waste away And join me in angst Fadin' to black More like a shade of grey The way that you tempt me I give in and pray That this addiction To my love will pass I thank you for blessings Just know I'll relapse This habit To break all I've built And drown in my guilt God it's a task That I can't fulfill I'll take this drill to my skull And surgically Remove what's hurting me Making me dull Purposefully I'll end up digging another hole This is inevitable This is the cycle I'll put on a new skin like Michael And shed the old Give it to Christ He spared his life So that when I die I might rise from the dirt And put off the hurt The words "I am" Have a new meaning I'm not my past My mistakes or my demons I am new I will cleave To what I receive Each breathe that I breathe Comes from above But why does feeling so good Have to be so wrong So I write these songs About whatever I feel I'll do my best And you'll do the rest That was the deal