Till I Drown

I don't know how to make sense of myself Am I diving too deep in myself to excel? Linger and tinker to figure things out While in my shell (A shell of myself) Hope for the future, regrets in my past Thinking so much I don't realize I am Whac-A-Mole issues I haven't addressed I'm not even dressed, I'm still in my bed But a boat wasn't made to spend its time waiting at the dock It was made for more than just to float Full of holes, leaking hope Sinking into the unknown Let it flow, then it shows I'm just flailing for control I can float for a while by myself Without help until I drown Oh oh, oh oh Just floating till I drown Oh oh, oh oh Floating till I drown Disconnected Every other thought is a false intention Every other thought is bomb that's pending to blow up, Take a look up at the stars, see the cosmic semblance Like a supernova I'm doomed to blow up Confused? I'll hold up My youth ain't over But I've grown up in an unbalanced way I relate more to someone who's 58 Than somebody the exact same age I wanna act my age But that means I might have to gauge What a guy my age does day to day Ride waves of his teenage phase and save face? All while stepping on the line to race to first place But the winner is the guy afraid who just played it off the most and got other people to rate Are we all disconnected from ourselves in the same way? Full of holes, leaking hope Sinking into the unknown Let it flow, then it shows I'm just flailing for control I can float for a while by myself Without help until I drown Oh oh (Oh oh) Oh oh (Oh oh) Just floating till I drown Oh oh (Oh oh) Oh oh (Oh oh) Floating till I drown Just wearing a mask Afraid to let anyone in 'cause the past Has taught us through memories how to react So we disconnect from the ones who just love us and want what is best What are you after? (Huh?) Why do you look at yourself as pathetic and then get distracted? (Huh?) Maybe you should quit living your life as an actor! You're seeing it backwards! Let's get real for a sec Peel off that facade, get some air, take a breath Let's talk back stage and jot all new ways to stay Authentic through the plays life plays This is not a game, but this is a test Of whether you can accept REAL love in in the face of regret Take a page out the text, and embrace what is set, Just let God save and don't get obsessed as you introspect Full of holes, leaking hope Sinking into the unknown Let it flow, then it shows I'm just flailing for control I let it go Give up control But I'm stubborn still, no doubt 'cause without your help I'll drown