The Longest Tab in History

In the Drunken Dragon's den they say, There's a tab that grows day after day, Started by old Wizard Thorne, Whose spells left all his pockets torn! "Just add it to my tab, dear friend!" And twenty years without an end, The parchment's longer than the street, With everything he had to eat! Roll out the scroll and read it well! The longest tab that time can tell! Each mug of mead, each plate of stew, Each chair he broke while passing through! The interest makes the innkeep weep, The numbers make accountants sleep! But still old Thorne comes strolling in, With empty pockets, wearing a grin! There's fourteen barrels of the best, A hundred chickens and the rest, The time he hosted twenty mages, And said "We'll drink throughout the ages!" Six chandeliers that didn't last, When levitation spells flew past, And let's not mention what occurred, When he turned everyone to birds! The innkeep's children learned to write, By adding items every night, Their first words weren't "mama" or "dad", But "Wizard, will you pay your tab?" The scroll's become a tourist sight, Folks come to see its legendary height, They say if laid out end to end, 'Twould circle town and back again! Now Wizard Thorne's beard's turned to grey, Still hasn't paid a coin they say, But no one seems to mind somehow, His magic tricks are worth more now! For spells and wonder, mystic cheer, Are worth more than a keg of beer, And that's why still they let him stay, The mage whose tab won't go away!