Why Mimic Make Terrible Furniture

Mabel Green a clever host Dreamed of running the best inn on the coast She thought "With mimics I'll save some gold They'll guard my doors and clean the mold!" But guests complained when beds would bite And chairs would shuffle in the night The chamber pots would growl and glare And no one dared to linger there Oh mimics make the worst décor They'll chase your patrons out the door! Your chairs should never blink or grin Your tables shouldn't try to spin! A proper bed won't speak and swear Or ask you why you're sleeping there So if your table starts to stare It's time to check what's hiding there! The common room became a mess With stools that fought and caused distress The tables cheered and placed their bets While coat racks danced without regrets The mirrors judged with cutting tones The curtains groaned with awful moans And every night at half past three The chessboard sang in drunken glee Oh mimics make the worst décor They'll chase your patrons out the door! Your chairs should never blink or grin Your tables shouldn't try to spin! A proper bed won't speak and swear Or ask you why you're sleeping there So if your table starts to stare It's time to check what's hiding there! One mimic dresser took the stage Its drawers unleashed in bardic rage It sang so loud it shook the walls And rugs began to roll through halls The lamps declared it "Mimic Day!" While tables danced and ran away Poor Mabel cried out in despair: "My inn's possessed by furniture rare!" Now Mabel's inn is empty still Except for furniture with skill They dance and sing and tell bad jokes And try to borrow coins from folks The only guests who dare to stay Are adventurers who cannot pay They fight the chairs to earn their keep While dressers watch them as they sleep! Oh mimics are a risky bet They'll turn your inn into a threat! Your rugs should not attempt to flee Your coat rack shouldn't sing off-key If dressers hum or tables shout It's time to throw those mimics out! But once they've settled in their place… You're stuck with chaos you can't erase! So take this lesson from her plight: Don't trust a mimic's appetite Real furniture should just sit still Not write bad poems or test its skill! And if your bench begins to speak Or if your desk starts playing peek… Remember Mabel's Green Inn's fate: Now run by mimics… rated great!