Why Mimics Make Terrible Furniture

An innkeeper named Mabel Green Thought mimics would keep her place clean They'll dust themselves and sweep the floor! Until they ate her front door The guests complained about their stays When beds kept asking them to play And no one liked their midnight fright When chamber pots would say"Good night!" Oh, mimics make the worst decor They'll chase your patrons out the door! Your chairs should never wink or smile Your tables shouldn't run a mile! A proper bed won't ask your name Or challenge you to play a game! So if your furniture seems odd Best check what's underneath that facade! The common room was quite a sight When stools got in a bar room fight The tables formed a betting ring While coat racks taught themselves to sing! The mirrors critiqued everyone The curtains told the worst of puns And every night at half past three The chess set held a drinking spree! Poor Mabel's inn is empty now Except for furniture that bow And dance and sing and tell bad jokes And try to borrow coins from folks! The only guests who dare to stay Are adventurers who cannot pay They fight the chairs to earn their keep While dressers watch them in their sleep! So listen well to Mabel's tale Of how her business did fail Real furniture should just sit there Not write bad poems or brush your hair! And if your bench begins to speak Or if your desk starts playing peek Remember Mabel's Green Inn's fate Now run by mimics. rated great!