I'm sick of being me

Since I was young, I felt the cold, a silent Child, just doing what she's told. Watched the world through shattered glass, Always the shadow, never the laugh. Could never say the right thing in time, Fumbled smiles and crooked lines. Trying hard just to belong, but every crowd Just felt so wrong. I'm sick of being me, this curse I wear alone, Tired of breaking quietly, in a world I don't Call home. You see the mask I show, not the war Beneath my skin, I scream inside, But I can't let you in. I'm sick of being me... Again. Even with family, I feel misplaced, like a Ghost with a name they've long erased. They talk, they smile, they laugh, they cheer, And I sit there wondering why I'm even here. I see the hate in subtle signs, the way they Flinch when I cross their lines. I wish I knew how to just be free- But every day, I'm trapped In me. I'm sick of being me, this voice they never hear, Tired of apologizing for simply being near. You see the shell I've built, not the ruins Deep inside, I'm fading fast with nowhere Left to hide. I'm sick of being me... Tonight. I tried, I swear I did... To fit in, to be enough, to feel like I'm worth Love... But maybe I was never meant to be The version of me they want to see. I'm sick of being me, this pain I know too well, Tired of living in this quiet private hell. But even if no one stands with me- I'll find a way to set me free. I'm sick of being me... But maybe, I'll learn to breathe. One breath...one step... One day... Maybe I won't feel this way.