Dying Of Boredom

Yeah Ain't shit to say about it There ain't a way around it If I'm okay I doubt it If all this shit is news to you then you should hang around it If all this shit is news to you then you should hang around it They say I'm extra, extra You can read about it And I won't ever, ever Be at peace about it If all this shit is news to you then you should hang around it If all this shit is news to you then you should hang around it Okay I washed the blood off my shirt, cuz now I'm not dying of boredom I ain't apologizing for that shit again, I don't feel the need to force it I don't know how the f*ck they didn't see it coming, every song was a warning But if it's war then, I'll end up at a ward in, handcuffs, and they won't ignore it But I don't feel the need to go that route Because I took the blame and then I made amends I won't ever be forgiven, but I can live with that cuz I'm okay again And I ain't mean to hurt nobody, I was tryna hurt myself, didn't think of no one else You don't know the pain I felt? F*ck it maybe this can help I don't think I'm wrong for this, it's the opposite I'm acknowledging that they won't hear this shit They loved the way that I would talk about my mental health, I was in fear of it They loved the way that I would open up, until that bloody shirt was experienced If you looked into ya Phrxhvzion maybe you could see what yo peer admits But you looked the other way And I thought I deserved it forreal I made album just crying for help And I thought that you heard it forreal I ain't talking like a tough guy That shit really hurt me forreal, f*ck I already had abandonment issues I hope you feel worse than I feel, even though I know that If it wasn't for Lovelace I wouldn't be alive, keep in mind They the ones who called the cops when they ain't wanna see me die They were calling for a wellness check And I called em back when I was hospitalized Sent a picture of their shirt that I wore And asked what they got in that size, I manned up and I apologized I know I crossed the line, but you don't know where it sent me They would tell me that it doesn't define me Then chose to resent me and hold it against me A few of y'all been in my position I don't understand how this is different I was told to give it time and space But now I don't give a f*ck to fix it Ya better not hit my phone cuz you don't wanna risk it imma leave it at that I used to be a Piñata until I said f*ck it I'm swinging the bat I gotta give credit where it's due tho, y'all were the reason for that I hope the tables turn and then you get abandoned just to see you react You can take all the shots in the world at me, and you ain't hearing shit back Cuz then you'll be proving every fucking point I made it ain't clearer than that Lemme find out we end up at the same show, I'll perform this in front of you But I don't see y'all showing up to the venue cuz I already know wassup witchu I can't f*ck witchu I made it out and now I got a grip So do I hold it down or hold a grudge for you Y'all accepted me for who I was and that shit meant the world cuz I looked up to you I hate the fact that I'm as numb as you I kept this story in the tuck for you Before you call me actin hyper aggressive Just let me tell you what the f*ck to do I didn't write this shit to play the victim again cuz I did enough But I won't let y'all play the victim either cuz you all made a choice to not give a f*ck So keep that energy don't switch it up And don't say a fucking word when you notice this I don't want for y'all to act out of character Keep pretending like I don't exist