March 11th

Now I gotta panic through the late night Never been the one, I was really tryna run from this shit Suicide attempt, blood loss made me sick I was stuck on a bitch, f*ck love it's a risk Ever since then I been as numb as a bitch Went to the hospital in handcuffs Mad as a bitch, it was fuckin my plans up They needed a drug test, but ain't lemme stand up, so And had a cop pull my pants up The same fucking one that found me bloody in the whip On some 10 police cars, 2 ambulances shit Never woulda found me if I turned my phone off All I wanted was her, I was manic as shit Bitch I planned for the shit, all the damage I did Was supposed to be the end and I can't even do it right I don't want you telling me you're happy I'm alive Cuz if I say the same, here's the reason it's a lie March 11th fucked me up March 11th cut me up March 11th told the truth bout who I am I've done enough I can't even think about the pain I caused F*ck this, f*ck that, f*ck me, f*ck you Let em all down, they won't ever come around Don't lie, you know, I know, the truth You should know the reason that I'm ruining my life Cuz now, I don't, got shit, to lose Burned every bridge cuz I didn't wanna live I don't, know what, the f*ck, to do Imma man up, I been takin all the blame My reason, why is, no excuse, but If I made a case, for the way I made you feel The scars, that still, won't heal, is proof Now I gotta panic through the late night Now I gotta panic through the late night Now I gotta panic through the late night Now I gotta panic through the late night Mama thought I wouldn't make it home It was hard to reply, wipin blood off my phone After this, you won't hear from me again, It's my last fucking song, I ain't fine on my own I don't think I will be, this should have killed me Now the only thing my ex feels is guilty I would always say that I would find her in any lifetime, I know she feels me Cuz maybe it won't end like this I don't want a life I gotta spend like this Now I fell in love with a blade Ever since she figured out I couldn't cut it to stay What the f*ck should I say? Talkin bout it doesn't make shit better, it makes shit worse, I don't give a f*ck if we're close Open wounds is how I open up My psychiatrist is beggin me to up every dose You don't know the half about what this shit did to Rachael I ain't want a life without the one who kept me stable She ain't answer me the night when I was callin I won't be the same, luckily it's not her problem, look I ain't here to say you handled it wrong I don't hate you for it, I just hope you feel the same I can tell you won't ever hear this song, but, If you ever do, I just hope that you're okay cuz March 11th fucked you up March 11th cut you up March 11th showed you why you can't love me I've done enough I can't think about, how I made you feel F*ck this, f*ck that, I still, love you Fucked you up, I ain't worthy of your love Don't lie, you know, I know, the truth Never was your fault, that I'm ruining my life Cuz now, I don't, got shit, to lose I can't feel shit, I don't have a way to cope I don't, know what, the f*ck, to do Imma man up, I ain't givin you the blame I just, miss being, close to, you You were my forever, I don't wanna carry on My scars, that still, won't heal, is proof