Piñata

I beat myself up just like a piñata Honestly I do not need a reminder Talkin about it is helping me nada All that I want is to see the mañana I beat myself up just like a piñata Honestly I do not need a reminder Talkin about it is helping me nada All that I want is to see the mañana When I'm alone I don't feel like I wanna I get to shakin like I'm bout to samba I can't be happy from all of my trauma I beat myself up just like a piñata I'm so numb that I can't bleed I can't talk to my family I been lookin for candy If ya don't understand me That means I been lookin for somethin sweet When I know that shit just ain't fuckin sweet I can't fuckin sleep I keep my thoughts to myself No one's at fault but myself Thinkin bout offin myself I did this all for myself I can't lay off of myself I'll call the cops on myself Cuz I can't solve it myself All that I wanted was help How can I blow out the candles when I think I shouldn't be breathin How can I know how to handle the person I never believed in I just been off of my rocker I'm shaken up like maracas I need to talk to my Mama She knows how I beat myself up just like a piñata Honestly I do not need a reminder Talkin about it is helping me nada All that I want is to see the mañana When I'm alone I don't feel like I wanna I get to shakin like I'm bout to samba I can't be happy from all of my trauma I beat myself up just like a piñata I just wanna get it over with Someobody show me the ropes Never wanted all the sober shit I should be over it But I can't find a better way to cope I'm workin everyday to let it go How can I demonstrate if I don't know How to feel better safe or in control How can I renovate I'm never home I stay at the Lowe's They won't help me fix it when it's self inflicted But I never knew that they could tell the difference when I felt as distant as I do I don't need television just to tell a vision I got tunnel vision and my one condition Is to kill what's missin I been hopin that it's me I don't think you had a clue I'm not holdin back for me I been holdin back for you This is what I have to do I'm in this shit til the death of me That's coming soon I can't live on what's left of me I can't go on any longer When I know I beat myself up just like a piñata Honestly I do not need a reminder Talkin about it is helping me nada All that I want is to see the mañana When I'm alone I don't feel like I wanna I get to shakin like I'm bout to samba I can't be happy from all of my trauma I beat myself up just like a piñata