Refraction (feat. .Donavan.)

I don't wanna see it through a lens Even though I know I'm on the fence I don't think I'll ever make amends Now I'm terrified of making friends I just wanna see in person I need something to immerse in I was the life of the party How the f*ck can I be nervous I think I'm used to division, I miss when they used to listen I don't feel shit when I lose what I'm missin I got a scope it's my view cause I'm distant I used to be different but Now I'm out here on the low I was out there on the high Now I never wanna talk I just wanna stay inside I've been scratching every shot and I don't think I got a cue I feel like colonel mustard I don't wanna ketchup I don't wanna clue All my life I've been a burden to everyone that used to care about me til they left Even if I wanna talk to you I won't respond to you I can tell that shit will bother you I know it does, I've been on the other side of it I'm losin sight of it all Went to parties for your validation even though I knew I couldn't find it at all I didn't get the verdict I was introverted til it hit the surface Now I can't get a word in I don't miss the drinkin I just miss the person Why can't I be who I was I won't try I do too much I'm not someone you can trust I miss when I was I don't wanna see it through a lens Even though I know I'm on the fence I don't think I'll ever make amends Now I'm terrified of making friends I just wanna see in person I need something to immerse in I was the life of the party How the f*ck can I be nervous I think I'm used to division, I miss when they used to listen I don't feel shit when I lose what I'm missin I got a scope it's my view cause I'm distant I used to be different but Now I'm out here on the low I was out there on the high Now I never wanna talk I just wanna stay inside Part of me hates it, I wasn't gon' say shit But honestly I'm too jaded to get faded no more F*ck all the pride, I kept it inside Now I'm tired crashing the shore Do I pour? Hardly I'd rather stay off the floor And now the life of the party Can't make it to the door Can you tell me how somebody supposed to stay on mission When they look up the mirror and they come up missin I don't think you get the message This is a cry for help, not a confession Been this way since adolescence Now I just stare in the eye of the tempest whenever I ask this question Why can't I be who I was I won't try I do too much I'm not someone you can trust I miss when I was I don't wanna see it through a lens Even though I know I'm on the fence I don't think I'll ever make amends Now I'm terrified of making friends I just wanna see in person I need something to immerse in I was the life of the party How the f*ck can I be nervous I think I'm used to division, I miss when they used to listen I don't feel shit when I lose what I'm missin I got a scope it's my view cause I'm distant I used to be different but Now I'm out here on the low I was out there on the high Now I never wanna talk I just wanna stay inside