Get A Grip

Why can't I let go Why can't I let go Why can't I let go Why can't I let I made a promise I would talk about it And even though this is an awful outlet I'm the only person I would listen to I know it's sad If you've been there for me then my bad I can relate I know where you at If you need a knife come look in my back I'm getting off track I can't be vague I think I deal with more than I can take I think my family is losing faith I think I turned into the shit I hate Someone who acts like everything's okay When it's not You only hear from me when I'm afraid I haven't said what I'm going through If I say it then I'll break, f*ck The woman I love has been going through it Imagine who you love doing shit that you did When you had nobody, wanting suicide You wake up, and they're self harming by your side it's a Side effect when she increased her dosage And I told her Mom I got it covered Now it's been months of me watching her suffer We don't have shit to lose except each other So I been thinkin, is it karma Cuz I put the people I love through the worst This is what hurts, I found who I want a life with And she wants it too, but not hers Here's what I know F*ck I fucking love you and I'll do whatever I promised you that I would talk about it If they hear this verse that means you're doing better, but I know I've been told to get a grip But my biggest problem is I can't let go I can't tell you how it is Even though I told you I'll let you know So don't hold your breath Cuz if I tell you I got no defense Oversteppin' on the closest edge I don't wanna cross the line I'm too close, to it I still can't believe I'm alive But with all of the shit in my life I'll just use it as vice I could never live it twice 2020 wasn't clear to me So I had to change my contacts My pupils couldn't see what I watched So I took glasses to the head With the music eye drop I finally gave you a vision The people I wanted to listen to it probably didn't They made a decision, it's not a surprise Never told you pick a side But I'm as dead as I'm alive No one can look in my eyes I look at my reflection and see why I've been living too, U-G-L-Y I'm tryna survive I remember when I couldn't reply Bitches sending me subliminal messages I remember when I wanted to die It's the devil putting death in my head again But I won't let him in F*ck I made a promise I would talk about it The person that I made that promise to Couldn't live without it Whatchu getting out it? I don't know I've been told to get a grip But my biggest problem is I can't let go I can't tell you how it is Even though I told you I'll let you know So don't hold your breath Cuz if I tell you I got no defense Oversteppin' on the closest edge I don't wanna cross the line I'm too close to it Why can't I let go Why can't I let go Why can't I let go Why can't I let