Remnants of Nick (feat. Locks)

Today I metaphorically trim my locks First things first: RIP Nicky-boy Miss you a lot You would think After another year It would get easier You would think that One more year You'd be able to breath better I've been trying To get rid of this pain I carry But my mind Is a road in a blizzard I can barely see It's too blurry Maybe That's why I think I need Mary Maybe That's why I wish it was me that was buried That's why I feel worse It's so hard Get lost in my head What if it was me Hauled off in that hearse Instead? This is my life now And I feel cursed Til this pain oozes out of my pores I will always feel your hurt I found a note in your room From A person Saying it's okay to do it That She'll do it too She knew You were going to do it Three days Before the gun blew Even knew You had the gun But yet she said nothin Til you'd already done it Then she felt remorse Before you were totally gone I knew something was wrong Like Yoda When there's a shift in The Force Every one out here postin' Thinking that it'll make them feel better But nothing makes this feel better Hell I felt the pain for three years And barely said nothing I wish I could go back To the year you left 2016 How could I ever forget January 19th The Day When you took your last breath Man this shit's hard for me To This Day I really wish I could get this Off my chest That's why My phone is full of rhymes Therapy to try To get me back to my best But what I found Was talent Hidden Between these lines If it wasn't for you I would've ended up in that casket I couldn't stop the tears from running When we laid you to rest The rain wouldn't stop pouring I was shrouded by fear It wasn't til a year later My vision began to clear I have finally accepted That you aren't here But I know you're not gone When a red tail comes near Damn man, now? Looking back I just took you for granted You were my brother We weren't blood Yet we were so much more But it all started to end After that December flood Three years since You left us From that day on I haven't done nothing but cuss This is Yhe only therapy I know The only thing That makes This better From every line To Every connection It Purifies my mind Oozing This Pain out from my pours Maybe That's why I only feel free when I hear the perfect chord Til that one day I realize I am Truly The only one of my kind Maybe then I will Obtain The peace I wish to find Now what I have learned From you I can never repay But what I can tell you is that Even when skies are grey Or when you open your door And it's hell outside That I will always try To put a smile on someone's face Even better, turn around Their terrible day Now I haven't been perfect Since you died, I can truly say But if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have gotten lost Because of you I found my way My best friend, my brother died He left this earth via suicide Might as well just have Dropped some cyanide But he put that gun To his temple And let it blow It was the worst time In my life I have never been so low So dark you couldn't even see In my mind I was struggling But the pain he felt More than out-weighed mine People hardly Ask "Locks, man; how are ya doing?" Even though I am mostly dead inside I will just tell ya "I am doing fine!" I will always remember That call I got at about nine Now you're gone I feel So Mentally blind Got me stuck Lost In Time Maybe one day I will finally Obtain my soul I wish to find Everything I do is for my true family and my fallen brother I do this For his sisters Brothers And his step mother For his father Please don't even bother If it wasn't for his only selfish act It would've been me that was the goner If heaven had a phone I would be ya number one caller Hoping that we will meet again sooner than later But I owe you So much more If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have found this talent I would've never found the confidence to ever stand up I am sorry it took a life to get me here It's been five years Nicky-boy I am Finally here I broke from my barriers That? You knew I would Do You were the only one that really saw Luke You knew He was no fluke Saw the talent hidden That Was about to break through Born a duke But knew a king He would quickly turn in to Yeah, Nick, I do this for you Yeah, Nick, I do this for you RIP brother, bless you