Painful Blessings (Beat . Vitals)

I ain't been loving myself I'm doing what I'm supposed to but I could care less Overburdened stress but I can't rest I gotta put them in the studded necklace Chained to love If it hurts I decline bed rest I end up slipping I Refuse to call them regrets (Woah) (Sheesh) I guess that's why Im confrontational all the time I loved and hated at the same time Things supposed to get better with time Right That's what they said Im losing the fight Chest pumping like I'm dying inside Forever close my eyes Im pussy to do it myself But God I tried I called for help I got silence had to change myself I was reckless in love Shared their pain I would never judge Conversations on the rugs From love to disgust It all comes down to trust Back then I couldn't wait to getting to this stage of hurt Phase of getting over you is starting to work Came to you I was meticulous like a clerk Tried to mold you with my love shifting earth Now I gotta wash my hands of all our dirt Heartbreak come with the territory I gotta change the story Like a drake with 40 If I'm talking promag Then you know its gory Bleeding through this pen Working for the glory Killing bills with this hattori All that couldn't bring you back Now my mind is stuck in purgatory (Yeah) (Uhh) You hate doing laundry so why we love dirty Air it out late night round 11:30 12 o clock giving the bed springs no mercy Not trying to visit my grave early But I still got that plot saved next to you for the end of the journey When I say I love you its forever No buts or however I Got you whenever wherever Tear me away from you they could never Diamond heart only your actions could sever Things were supposed to be better Stuck through the storm in category five weather Got to feel pain to know pleasure Words are like noose in your letters Hand on the lever But I put it back like a treasure It's only a reminder of my failed endeavors