Letter To My Ex

My heart is hurting been broken open So as this chapter close in motion Imma send you this a token chosen To reflect and reminisce on our golden moments. A relationship of growth unfolding Two peas in a pod holding ocean Oxytocin promoting emotion woven In union now lost cold n lonesome. Should've clocked the omens a breakup to come Like when you broke my bowl - wakeup we're done. When the oracle said it we tried to run But it was no use now I cried a ton. I could feel it coming so could you But I'm not writing this as a f*ck you. Cause although I know we need to grow apart I love you always and I know you love too. Memories making my tears stain the page Know they'll never leave though the pain is great. The good times like the Italian sunshine Wandering the streets of Rome a fun ride. Racing e-scooters round the colosseum The smile on your face like some Goddess being. How you held me as I broke down lost in tears Absorbing the horses pain copping fears. Or even our first anniversary Folly Dolly Falls a picnic serving me Serving you good food tunes no burden free. Then you framed the pic we took preserving we. I knew you were special from our first date Thinking synchronicities and that girls face Gorgeous eyes lighting up my world space The more we dated the more we turned fate. Birthdays the effort we put in together I'll forever remember our mad adventures Heart centred North Sea dipping December Dark Novembers vegan cafe lunch endeavours. The deep talks on free walks where we sought To seed thoughts of world views we bought But we shared them already real talk Of course there were so many feels caught. Aligned energy compatibility A once in a lifetime find combating misery Our families could see long lasting livity Between us plus everyone else on that limit free Vibe... The spirit chi through my dark nights Orbs coming to visit in dreams hard times Playing on your wounds from a past life And my lust addiction Pornhub was mad rife. Never thought porn could have us torn Between breakups and sticking for support. Born from this affliction trust issues Two years back n forth a lust misuse My masseuse angel didn't know what to do Cause her man's got a big monster bruise One minute speaking of divine masculinity Next feeding addiction mad sinning weak. That drove a wedge between us But more so thinking with my ego n penis Desires for other women I'd feed it Insecurity overt honesty would breed it. It wasn't malicious or deceiving I had reason without forethought leading Even with insight of meditative breathing The sexual healing was teething So Ciaran was still repeating the cause of stress Porn and sweat work toilets pawg flesh More depressed in work bored yes I saw the test of course I failed more yes. Rest assured - I seeked out therapy Addressed the entities inside testing me You couldn't keep carrying me Eventually it got heavy inevitably. After many relapses I kicked it Struggled to pay for therapy but chipped in I listened still to the voice of my big dick Lusting over women I wanted to f*ck I pissed it Up the wall cause then we moved in And you'd think we'd be smooth cruising But truth is contentment I was losing Deluding me into thinking crude things. Like an open relationship I suggested Something you told me you had suspected Left me momentarily you were right to Then we tried to make it work with the right food. Made some more memories that stand out Trips to Leeds Falafel guys we'd hang out Kirkgate filming content planned out Ethiopian sharing platter hands down Good vibe but not like vegan campout Mad sounds P Money skanking in the back crowd Never had loud or drinks or sad frowns We had each other so we laughed loud. But ultimately; the damage was done. We tried to manage the havoc to come Minor fall outs deep talks were had About the doubt of whether we would last It's mad we made it past the honeymoon phase And we slowly went downhill the mood swayed Resurfacing buried emotions to soon change How we saw the future to lose faith My intent was to stay despite the immense Big sense drifting from miss right intense But you coming with that sixth sense An intuitive thick lense to what we couldn't fix then. Honestly I feel like lost my soul mate I hold weight so low my whole state It's hard... We're still so alike it's so great But we need to be apart for the growth pains. I guess we better leave it to slow fate And don't wait for each other please don't chase. Of course you know I don't blame You for the truth of where we are in this cold place. I know you found it hard away from home I should've been more patient I know You needed independence a place for growth A routine to have space for goals. Maybe it was right person wrong time. Maybe we should be apart for a long time. Working on ourselves reflection on mind A real test of time progression of life. I'm upset I must rest I must check myself Never forget this love blessed my health Maybe we'll find a way back together But if not good luck I love you forever.