/7/99

My dad and my mom are mostly one of the same My mom played both rolls that caused nothing but pain So as I carry on the day, looking nothing but plan Knowing well my pops is locked up in bundles of chains And it's been 7 years since my mom got put in that grave Don't think I'll ever feel again my heart is filled up with rage Cuz if my life was like a book? Id be stuck on the page From like 5 years ago, but granted nothing's the same It's kinda hard to point the finger when there's nothing to blame Ever harder becoming rich when there ain't shit to obtain In this little ass state so I fill up the page With my life in a ink form With hopes of Gettin a raise From a job I barley like, But shit I gotta get paid Cleaning up after all these people, start to feel like a maid But all these managers and owners feel like they got it made Ain't fell this way before I know my mind is locked in a maze And Erins looking down So I know she probably amazed Probably questioning what's going on because Im not who she raised Contemplating suicide I hope this feeling never stays I'll substitute that for a crime of wave and try and catch a case Cuz I heard that that's the biggest sin And all of this is coming from not a soul ever listening, You think it's petty, buts it's heavy I done payed my dividends but still feel like I went on trial and ready for sentencing I ain't even living man Feel like I ain't live yet So much up on my plate So much weight on my chest I bench press I'll smile in your face shake ya hand But just know I been stressed That's just a cry for help just incase you have any Interest In my well being If not then it is Invisible And even if it wasn't they'd never ask what got into you They brush it off Dismiss it then wonder why you so cynical Im a troubled individual I had bad habits way before I knew what the pen could do Causing more damage then the sword so had to pick n choose Always the type to bend the rules But glad to say I graduated Couldn't always get to school Miss the buss or skipped There really wasn't much I didn't do But learning and maturing kinda turned me to a different dude I'm preaching you my winter blues Devil on my shoulder Mama said don't let em get to you And bet when I get older I'll start seeing shit Threw different views A bird's eye at that Than start picking out all the hidden clues Like what was going threw my mamas head oh shit I wish I knew Cuz I ain't ever know her like she knew me and that's difficult/ Well I knew her But I ain't know her too well Didn't know her dreams and nightmares Or how lonely she felt Didn't know the story that she told that I'll continue to tell Didn't know friends She was against or all the Foes that she helped This is dedicated and locked to all the young-ins in the struggle When you feel that alls against you and nobody ever loved you And you living all alone in this world and trapped in a bubble That you never can escape Untill you finally crumble Or get off ya ass and get ya own deciding to hustle You Doing 90 on 95 you crash and forgot to buckle Now you breathing threw a tube, and they feeding you through a funnel Shit Thats an unfortunate action A wise man told me once that the laws of attraction has almost everything to do With the law of detachment Like theres that girl you see in school And you know all of her classes So you go out ya way everyday in order fashion Hoping that one day she gone see you Man that's all you image But as the days past she does too so you know it's hitting harder There goes the next day and the next, so you starting to disregard her Then a week past Hey how you doin its nice to meet ya It's the same in this game, they see you blow then want a feature But never picked you on there team when your ass was locked on the bleachers They leaches They wanna break you but never help with the pieces It's clean up time This my life and I got a reason To act the way I've been acting The reasons how I was treated My plan is to come take action While actually spreading meaning I know that no man is perfect, don't you ever believe it Need an addition on to my closest Space to bury my demons Believe non of what you hear and even less What your seeing The devil comes in most form and even all is deceiving