Emancipation

How I'm supposed to pull myself out of depression I ain't even pull myself out the closet Round one in a deadly gauntlet Stuck in the woods and it's fucking haunted Whole life feel like a fucking goner Big city feel like a ghost town In my small town feeling like I'm hell bound Taking emotional voyages and odysseys Just to pinpoint, justify, internal oddities Searching, yearning for an answer Cede defeat, compromise, just any answer Clairvoyant epiphanies, and trial and error Just to survive emotions of terror Working, dreaming, hoping that my mind will finally clear up I'm so unsatisfied, I'm so unsatiated I'm clinging on to anything I think that gone to make me greater I was down off the radar Off the tree with no paper Taking shots with no chaser Mind cracking like wafers I'm stuck in the woods I'm stuck in the mud I ain't got Noah I'm stuck in the flood Can't finish my sentence I'm begging the judge The hard place won't move and the rock won't budge So out of touch I just feel like a clutch Stuck in the mindset, stop and go reset Introspect, reflect, pain and regret Shame and deflect, and my mind spinning pirouette Cause I'm haunted by your silhouette I don't want to be loud, Don't want to be gay Don't want to be black Don't want to be trap But I'm loud, gay, black, and feeling trapped And I feel like for thirty seasons I've been holding back Out of reality, I caught up in the abstract Who do you blame Mother, father, brother, or sister Is it stranger, daughter, misses, or mister Is it your friends, ex, or president Or is it all of your past making your present tense I said, who do you blame Mother, father, brother, or sister Is it stranger, daughter, misses, or mister Is it your friends, ex, or president Or is it all of your past making your present tense Damn, I just want to be emancipated Loud, gay, black, trap, yeah, this is my emancipation I just want to be emancipated Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is my emancipation For every big dog, there's a Caesar Milan And we all look like some dry food In this cannibalistic system Nihilist wage slaves, historic omissions Visceral screams and horrible visions Curiosity, can't leave no stone unturned But how I'm supposed to chill out when inside I burn Last year I realized quick on how life can turn Now gwola family and I fill up my concerns It's time to make it happen, champion in dreams But you loser in action Where that winners anxiety to ruin relaxing, the mind a beautiful tool, or the deadliest weapon The best I ever felt when I astral projected I'm tired of the lessons, I'm searching for blessings I'm pleading and begging, divine intervention and some peace in this tension No more stranger in my mirror, defining my self-perception The stars, mother Gaea, ancestors, guide my ascension Who do you blame Mother, father, brother, or sister Is it stranger, daughter, misses, or mister It's your friends, ex or president Or is it all of your past making your present tense So who do you blame