How Come

Wake up, go to church. Stay stuck on a verse Late up, tryin to figure how this pay stubs gonna work Gotta the get the faith up, but this fake love, it don't save nothin's worth So I just stay fucked, and now I even got a demon in me sayin F*ck this Earth But I gotta lot to live for this day. I get it, but I'm far beneath this pain You can literally see it in both of my eyeballs, but it's my fault, not believing his reign If I knew of the influence he would have on my life, I'd stop and make me a change But it's way too late, and I'm far too fucked up to even have a thought that may be sane Every job that I worked at fired me. How come I gotta be perfect entirely You're tellin me "It's worth it, admire Me." Seein your book, verses society I wonder how worth it dyin would be? There's only one person I can be I gotta work with what I can see. Tryn to see the person who lied to me But, pissin and moanin ain't gonna get nobody to sign a paycheck Out of everything life has to offer, I'm sure the worst of I ain't faced yet Tell me to turn right, but I bank left, doin anything I can for stage rep With all the shit on my two shoulders, I don't know how the f*ck they ain't break yet How come everything in my life's a fuckin Do-or-Die I'm survivin, but this shit is feelin like suicide But nobody's willin walk inside these shoe's, but I Feel like I'm losin it. God, I'm prayin help me through the night God, do you hear me I'm survivin but this shit is feelin like suicide. Suicide Feel like I'm losin it. God, I'm prayin help me through the night Tryin to be a man, but I ain't gotta clue. Got plenty of beer, but I stay outta food. My kid gotta eat straight rice third night in a row, cuz all the bills are overdue. f*ck They told me God's a plan for me, and I hope that it take over soon Cuz that little voice in the back of my head be mockin me on every little thing that I say or I do Everytime I go to bed I hear it sayin Your life ain't worth shit boy quit playin When the f*ck you gonna get through yo thick brain? You're never gonna be more than a shit stain Now I'm talkin back to it, shit I'm insane. I never thought that I would ever contemplate Suicide, or even think about it this way Maybe takin' that left was a mistake But to this day, (yes) I been risky (yes). I been lookin in the mirror and I miss me. yes And I really can't wait till this shit fades. yes I don't know what to do if it stays If you hear me, tell me what do my lips say? This shits way passed just kids play Why did it take so long for it to hit me? (tell me) How in the hell am I gonna get paid No job, but I owe a whole lot. All my life I been seeing what I don't got Oh God, will I die? Shit I hope not. Then again it's pointless, I got no plot I hold it down and I keep it real, admitting this hell is so hot But I'll chamber my rounds and shoot at the field, and do it until I got no shots How come everything in my life's a fuckin Do-or-Die I'm survivin, but this shit is feelin like suicide But nobody's willin walk inside these shoe's, but I Feel like I'm losin it. God, I'm prayin help me through the night God, do you hear me I'm survivin but this shit is feelin like suicide. Suicide Feel like I'm losin it. God, I'm prayin help me through the night Don't get me wrong. I'm glad everyday my eyes open up at dawn And if you know me you would know that I'm fuckin' strong Shit, I do it for my kid and her lovely mom But I can't seem to put somethin on the table for long. I ain't got luck at all And I know that this life is short, but the bits of hell are so fucking long It's why I'm just doin what I'm good at. Makin' tracks, hangin out with the hood rats Me being any other man never would last, so I'm gonna major in somethin that I could pass (F*CK EM) I might be a bum rotting up under a bridge, but I'm done talkin this shit That's it this front's droppin. I'm doin it for me - just Bahnsen Even if mother fuckers show no love. Imma kill it everytime I show up So long as I keep breathin I'll keep feeding you tracks, like I've already blown up! (yes yes yes) F*ck rap, it's a whole lot more than that to me. I can't let it go, I have to be On top, just fathom the capacity of me livin so happily Then I open my eyes and look all around. Shit, I gotta long way to go I don't know how much deeper this water gon get, but you'll never see me losing hope Imma make that my outcome. All that fantasizing, I'm now done But still, when I look at the odds, I can't help it, I gotta ask how come How come everything in my life's a fuckin Do-or-Die I'm survivin, but this shit is feelin like suicide But nobody's willin walk inside these shoe's, but I Feel like I'm losin it. God, I'm prayin help me through the night God, do you hear me I'm survivin but this shit is feelin like suicide. Suicide Feel like I'm losin it. God, I'm prayin help me through the night