Scribbles

Yo, listen No degree but I been tested Pain in my heart that I kept in Went from all smiles like a dentist To an ambulance, alone with a deathwish I was tellin jokes to the paramedic She told me her son was a menace I wanted to tell her to hold him tight coz it gets so cold in the trenches I wanted to say never get so busy that all your love goes away I wanted to say never get so far that you don't hear the songs that he makes And all of the pain that he hides, keep asking about his day I wanted to tell her don't leave him alone, cos I'm here and it's way too late My heartbeat hit like a hi-hat My kidneys dry like I fried dat 200 doses, prescription pills, how the f*ck I survive that Not an ounce of fear in my heart At peace, about to depart A piece of me died that night, that starvin kid he got left in the dark Had to leave him dead and buried, God told me he don't see cemetaries Dunno how I could go on the run, life's barely begun, and I just wasn't ready Disqualified, false start Can't drive when the gear's in park Find a way to endure the days of pain cos life is a work of art I think I'm addicted to crashin out for the times that I got neglected For the times they wasn't attentive, desperate For some deeper affection Instead, I got independent and blended, I'm a great pretender Until I couldn't recognise that darker side that I had embedded And I used to hate feelin so different But tell me what's better than this Who else' gonna hold this gift It's in my hands I control this shit So I'm puttin the pen to the paper And I'm lettin the ink just dribble Done tryna keep it simple I'm writin my story in scribbles