Lost In My Head

Lately I've been lost in my head Been doing drugs, and found it hard to even get out of bed I've fucking hated myself Been fucking screaming for help I've been overthinking every single thing I ever said This shit was supposed to get better It seems to get worse Counting my blessings, now it all begins to feel like a curse And it hurts, why all these likes got to determine my worth? Damn I try to dream it away Have trouble sleeping, so I'm wide awake I don't know how you held on so long I swear to god it feels so wrong Now you're gone, that's my life I should move on, but I just can't hide All these feelings that are drowning me The tide has rolled in, can hardly breathe Waking up alone to *ring* on repeat I check my phone, I guess my friends must be on silent retreat I don't get any calls or texts at all No sex, I'm blue just like my balls I'm staring at my ceiling, overthinking every single flaw Shit, I'm scared of dying alone I'm scared I'll never find something that's even close to a home I'm scared I'll never find another person I can get near I fucking hate I fucking lost you, you were right fucking there (And I fucked up) I fucked up, I see Now you're done with me I understand it I did everything wrong and it really really really sucks Cause I don't really think I've ever really given you up I'm stumbling out of bed Still thinking about all the things, I really wish I had said Too caught up in my head, too easily got upset I could spend several hours listing all the dumb shit I did I didn't want to kiss you, worried my breath was bad I wasn't about to risk you losing what interest you had So stupid, too young, immature, too awkward, insecure Rejected me 10 times, I'm starting to think you're pretty sure (I really fucked up) I fucked up, I see Now you're done with me I understand it I did everything wrong and it really really really sucks Cause I don't really think I've ever really given you up