Fuzz God

When did I become the person I'm supposed to be? And when did I relax into this setting human being? Did I choose to come to earth? Did I choose to pick my birth? Were my parents my own creation In the universe of the thought in my head? Will my house be on the wood I built? Will my garden grow from soot and silt? Will it be all that I wanted it to be? To grow and be fruitful, as tall as a tree? And I cant stop believing in the things I was taught Will I understand this feeling when I'm not? Will I be dead? Will it be black in head? Will I not see my dreams or my grandfather, cousins, or these fiends? Will I be lost in thoughts in my head? Will I constantly circle around theses feelings in bed? And I can't sleep at night when I smoke too much And can't breathe and cough and I fall and I can't stand up Do I know what's in store for me? Will I be complacent with my history?