So What I Want?

Sittin in my room I'm contemplating what I really want I've been in my head for quite some time and it ain't really fun Turning 27 gettin old in just a couple months Everybody in my circle asking what I really want Maybe I don't know okay I do but that's just what it is Keep it to myself don't wanna lose you all I'm powerless Don't know when it happened but I'm scared to lose it all again Pray to God like every night but feel like nothings happenin cye Tryna come round way Heart been mend but it still might break Found some things that I still can't face Me I go MIc When alone in my thoughts and I feel so fake I been working on things and it's at my pace So why do I feel like I'm losing a race cnd there's no competition I feel so indifferent I get it I'm tryna move forward but feel like I'm at the beginning I'm sick When did it start am I tryna forget? Maybe I'm still not okay from the split Dang If that's what it is What am I searching for what is the fix? Feel so distorted like I'm in a mix I've been up long days even longer nights (To) see my dad I gotta catch a flight Been tryna keep my feelings outta mind but it's harder tryna keep it outta sight To be honest kind of lost the will to fight Shawty said she outgrew my light I was hella dim so she might be right I'm just tryna find my happiness in life Sittin in my room I'm contemplating what I really want I've been in my head for quite some time and it ain't really fun Turning 27 gettin old in just a couple months Everybody in my circle asking what I really want Maybe I don't know okay I do but that's just what it is Keep it to myself don't wanna lose you all I'm powerless Don't know when it happened but I'm scared to lose it all again Pray to God like every night but feel like nothings happenin So what I want? So what I want? Turning 27 gettin old in just a couple months Everybody in my circle asking what I really want Look I hate to admit that my mental is weak I been up 2 days I'm not okay but found that I'm too scared to speak I gotta stop blaming me Man I'm too hard on myself I ain't picture perfect tryna be a servant but I'm realizing I need some help Took time off but I'm back now This my time better sit down Y'all been too loud Look I been talking to God he turning the odds He told me son don't you back down When things get hard and you feel so alone just know imma always come round Oh yeah yeah yeah we up now This for the therapy sessions Every L I take ain't a loss it's a lesson Though I been stressin Every day I'm alive is a blessin Know I've been a mess and look The older I get the longer I sit in my head and I get all reflective Been the past 3 years and I might need resettin Feeling like ending this here on the trilogy It just feel right to me I been to myself but that's been the fight in me Honestly still kinda new to this concept of me inviting all my friends to the table Hol up Said I wanna be alone they like so what Guess imma give that up Turn a new page so that chapters done Sittin in my room I'm contemplating what I really want I've been in my head for quite some time and it ain't really fun Turning 27 gettin old in just a couple months Everybody in my circle asking what I really want So what I want? So what I want? Turning 27 gettin old in just a couple months Everybody in my circle asking what I really want