improvement

Is it enough to say I'm sorry Cuz I don't have the energy To dissect all parts of me Said I didn't like the way he Drank till he got angry Making snide remarks until His friends got him home safely And now i'm drinking something pink And crinkling my eyelids All my friends are talking 'bout their weekend in the islands I'm watching them just bubbling and I'm overanalyzing What the hell is wrong with me If they could see what I could see They'd know I don't mean anything I say I just want you and me to be okay A pendulum that's swinging just one way Blame it on where my natal moon was placed Do I make you want to drive me away? I'm not moving Until you tell me what went wrong If I'm improving I never thought that it would take so long I'm good at holding secret grudges Apologizing on the phone forgetting next to nothing At some point something shifted and It's me that's up to something I don't like when you're mad at me And I think you probably should not be But now it's my fault that we're not okay A pendulum that's swinging just one way If I'm a baby please don't throw it in my face And I hate you but I hate that you're in pain I can see how all this would drive you away I'm not moving Until you tell me what went wrong If I'm improving Then why's it have to take so goddamn long? I've been stewing Like a cynic that can't see her own mistakes I'm not losing But is it winning to refuse to accept my fate? Accept my fate Woooooooooaoo ohhh Now I'm growing up Now I'm an adult like you Now we're getting somewhere Now I have a foolproof excuse To go back to your place Throwing up on my shoes I won't accept that it's over in fact I fucking refuse So is it enough to say I'm sorry?