Funky Christian

Well I'm a funky Christian Now let me just tell you About the things in life That for the Lord I say and do It happened one great evening About seven years before When I walked down the front to Give my heart to the Lord I said the sinner's prayer I really couldn't foil it But I wasn't there to give my life I was trying to find the toilet And the man said, "You are saved, my boy And you may leave the floor" And he handed me a copy of the 4 Spiritual Laws Well I took it home and read it But it didn't make much sense I could understand the word BELIEVE But the rest just seemed like French So I joined the local Youth Group To see what I was missing And there I found out how I could become A funky kind of Christian I get up every Sunday Somewhere around 6 And I turn the TV on to watch The preacher's latest tricks Then I put my neatest clothes on And brush my teeth real clean So when I go to church No one can see beneath my sheen With a King James in the left hand Concordance in the right I know I'm looking better Than the way I did last night When I put my money in the plate I count it out aloud And when I sing the hymns I nearly deafen half the crowd I doze on through the sermon Can't listen to that stuff Before he's done the bible verse I've really had enough The Bible's really straight you see I don't read and I don't listen I don't need to study it because I'm a funky Christian My week gets really busy I'm never home at night Coz there's studies, groups and outings And it gets kinda tight Like on Wednesday there's this Bible study I'm such a godly man The study, man, well it's the pits But the girls I like's called Pam Friday night is youth group I get up to me tricks I don't really like the things they do But I really like the chicks And I even witness to me friends In a way that's just my style I don't mention Christ or God or anything I do it with my lifestyle Saturday night I'm raging Can't tell you what I do I go out with my non-Christian mates And I don't get home 'til 2 Coz I know that any sins I do They'll all be forgiven So Saturday night I pile 'em up I'm a funky Christian I always read the Bible But I've got lots of nouse Cos the open Bible really hides The latest Aussie Penthouse I say great things like "Praise the Lord Hallelujah and Amen" And when I finish saying them I say them all again It's hard to be a Christian When you're funky just like me To act like a Christian all the time And to say that you believe Like those idiots out there driving I pass them with a swish I hurl abuse and throw a sign And hope they don't see the fish Yes I'm a funky Christian I'm sinless every day I'm nearly paying all my tax And I'm certainly not gay I know you want to be like me Well brother, learn your lesson If your mouth is hot but your heart is not Then you can be a funky Christian