Cold

I woke up in the middle of the night My heart's pounding, my mind's racing I heard some noises, but it was just a dream A terrifying, never-leaving nightmare I don't know why I'm blowing up tonight Is this just another trick my brain's playing on me? It's really hard not to hate yourself When even close ones don't get that you're not okay Tell me how to fix myself Tell me how to be somebody else Oh, give me something, something To numb the pain I feel inside And if this is how I'll always be Then I don't want this I don't wanna feel weak for the rest of my life I wanna live for the rest of my life Here I am again, up in the cold sweat Second-guessing every single one of my decisions And every mistake is on the screen of my mind I hope to fall asleep, but don't think I can Got up, looked in the mirror and I closed my eyes This can't be the way I am, can't do anything about it And I know I've felt this all before But it doesn't get easier despite Tell me how to fix myself (fix myself) Tell me how to be somebody else (somebody else) Oh, give me something, something To numb the pain I feel inside And if this is how I'll always be (how I'll always be) Then I don't want this I don't wanna feel weak for the rest of my life I wanna live for the rest of my life! Slowly getting past that stage of grief That let me care for anything at all And whenever I feel low Seeing blood dripping reminds me that I'm still alive And maybe it's a good thing I got sick 'Cause I finally look the way I wanted to No longer ashamed of the reflection Still feel the need to ignore the needs I need to fix myself I need to fix myself I need to fix myself I need to fix it all!