Forever and a Day

There's a curse that a lot of us have Cold sweat, heart racing, mind blowing up Never knowing if you'll make it to the next year Struggling to decide if you want yourself to Intrusive thoughts that will not speak the truth Make you hate yourself for no goddamn reason I tell everyone I'm fine to avoid any questions Though I haven't been okay for years Said things won't always be good So I need to give it some time But how much time has to pass For things to get better? When happiness feels like a myth It's so easy to fall apart And even when things do get better What you used to feel still haunts you Another rush of cold in my veins Says I can't live my life A nightmare that I can't get rid of I'm so tired of feeling afraid Numb my pain and shut my thoughts Turn the cold into warmth and the heat into ice 'Cause I can't do this anymore, I'm drowning I don't want to struggle forever and a day Once a day there's a time when I'm free At least in some way I don't wanna open my eyes to see where I am I don't wanna wake up to be who I am Living like this is exhausting to death And sometimes I think about how this could end What's the point of living a life with no hope When my demons are crawling under my bed The life I live doesn't make any sense So much pain that I've gone through Losing everything and everyone I love I need an antidote against my thoughts Thinking about all the things I could do And how I'm losing time when I go for a break Like a vicious circle that I cannot leave Stuck in my head till something pulls me out Another rush of cold in my veins Says I can't live my life A nightmare that I can't get rid of I'm so tired of feeling afraid Numb my pain and shut my thoughts Turn the cold into warmth and the heat into ice 'Cause I can't do this anymore, I'm drowning I don't want to struggle forever and a day Another rush of cold in my veins (in my veins) Says I can't live my life (live my life) But it feels so easy when the liquor goes down my throat (Goes down my throat) And electric feeling in my veins is gone So numb my pain and shut my thoughts (shut my thoughts) Turn the cold into warmth and the heat into ice 'Cause I can't do this anymore, I'm drowning I don't want to struggle forever and a day There's a curse that a lot of us have Cold sweat, heart racing, mind blowing up