Victim

Oftentimes I wonder What it would have been like If we never woulda met Never sat in same Science class Never dropped my pants Let you in my head Never believed in your lies Or had my heart ripped out From my chest Probably had sex with All the women that I wanted Probably made it as a gentleman And a fucking scholar Probably snake charming any female For a quick f*ck Hell I'd probably had More baby mommas Than Nick Cannon With more confidence More self esteem The way you fucking treated me You cunt You're my fucking nightmare In my sleep Your disease Left me hemorrhaging All these years I wanted you Six feet deep Under concrete Always wanted the attention Always played the victim Painted up a target on my back And made me out the villain After these years I never fully recovered Tried to forgive You breathe the same air While I lived with trauma You're the reason why I have such a dark heart Why I've battled with demons Why I kept a facade You're the reason I almost ended my life The start of my mental illness Why the darkness is my light Shoulda known From the fucking get-go People believed in all your shit And made me out The fucking monster Cause of you I am a cynic The disorder you've created Haunted by your insolence Bitch you took My fucking innocence While you lived in peace I picked myself up Off my feet Sat suffering in silence Had to find my new identity Survivor of a masochistic bitch Sadist first downfall Yet you think you didn't do A gaddamn thing wrong Made me think twice About choosing partners Questioned my ability to spit game But made me cautious This hell I lived Gave a new perspective in life I'm not gonna lie I hope it eats you alive From the inside I don't give two fucks That we were fucking kids You deserve every gallon Of venom that is released From my esophagus Let the fire rain down Maybe then you can Finally claim victim Ignited by my vengeance Serve time inside my head Til you finally pay your penance Watch my memories on repeat Slowly tearing up your conscience Stirring up hot ashes With piss sealed up with a kiss When you've felt my judgment Maybe then you'll be forgiven