Goodbye...

I can properly admit That I probably took it too far Engaged in obsessions I barely held you up And I feel like I've fallen so far Several days sitting on the mic I realized I might be pressing my luck Stuck in a fantasy I send you a link to my tape and block you Never again have to spot your tragedies And the fact that you moving on too quickly for me Maybe I just wanna lash out And see you listen to twenty fucking minutes of me audibly bashing ya Honestly I loved you though Scared of looking back at your name or the songs you sent me I purged your messages faster than a cleansing And bury my rage in songs of hard heart as I fall apart Honestly I miss you though Stuck in pristine visions of the fact that I would've been in the tropics Getting down on one and proposing endless love and solitude Instead I sit alone and pretend that I fucking hate you I'm just scared of the fact that my family fucking hates me And I'll never get to hold you again But you gone in the wind And now I'm holding on to tiny dust particles and fragments of memories you left behind I pray that one day I get up and move along or I'll fall back into your arms Or this ring was for fucking nothing I said it before and ill repeat one more time Please save me I'm barely swimming and sinking fast And the captain has frozen and I'm stuck in the cabin And I'm scared to say goodbye cause frankly I'm scared of drowning I'm scared of falling into substances that get me sinking faster Or walking into another to stop thoughts from invading While I hide all the things only you knew Cause really it felt like you knew me But now it feels like I never really knew you I wasn't my best self and I guess its caught up to me And now the remains of my promise are scattered across the Cuban shore One day I said it before and I'll repeat one more time Please save me