If All Shows Were This Good, We Never Would Have Called It Quits!

Packed up the car and we're ready to go Just got done playing a sick-ass show The promoter was great-had Ballantines on ice We sold a lotta merch and that's always nice The place was looking sketchy when we first rolled up But it was cool-a lotta people actually showed up The other bands were friends, and lent us all their gear I checked the mic; the monitors were crystal clear The lights go down and the feedback squeals From the first stick count, we let 'em know the deal Dudes were moshing and people got hurt But it was all from dancing hard, not acting like jerks There was crowd riding and stage-diving When time to collect, no scheming or conniving The band was on point and didn't miss any changes My throat had phlegm-coat and I hit all my ranges So the show is over and the drinks are pouring We're from outta town, but don't gotta get up in the morning Reminiscing with some old timers, we had a blast Talking 'bout slammin' shows from decades past And these girls came up and they were mad pretty Rockin' luscious titties and asses the size of a city We chilled in the back where they had a lounge What happened next-I'm leaving out of my account... Good morning muthafuckas; it was quite a night Now I'm walking kinda funny, but I feel aiiight So we get in the ride and I don't turn the ignition 'Cause I felt a rather unpleasant premonition My reflexes slower, but my senses heightened I don't really want a court date and more points on my license So I told the fellas that I had to eat And we got out and started toward a diner up the street It was the best choice ever-who was right there waiting? A patrol car full of pigs masturbating Under their mustaches they all wore scowls Their nightsticks greasy from somebody's bowels But we weren't nervous-not one iota Sorry, officers, for not helping with your quota...