Therapy

Living with all my demons within me, they're wreaking havoc I try to hush the voices, ignore 'em but I just haven't Been able to find some silence, lock myself in the attic Of my own mindscape to escape from being attacked It's a tactic that some would say is dramatic and I should face it Go down into the dark with the skeletons in my basement Feels like forever passed and I wonder where all the days went And if Ii really chose this depression to go and waste it I'm only eighteen got a brighter future ahead of me At least that's what I hear when my problems get to depressing me Everywhere I see all these positive notes addressing me And leaving thoughts and prayers in my life, hoping they're blessing me And honestly I wish it was as simple as that That I could leave it all to faith and keep my focus on rap That I could strike a match and burn my sadness clean off the map Or get amnesia and forget that I could ever be sad I just wanna let a few things off of my chest I just wanna voice every thought going through my head I just wanna feel like it's worth getting out of bed I don't wanna give up my whole life just yet Lately it kinda feels as though every breath is a mountain moved Try to tell myself that it's just a matter of attitude That getting through this alone is something I have to do And there's no other person that's ready to handle half my mood That wasn't rude I'm just saying that I'm a lot to deal with I need some time to myself I guess to begin the healing Don't know if I prefer being numb or this sinking feeling Like I'm going under and hardly feel like a human being What you've been seeing is struggle between myself and I Say I'm okay to escape it but that's a selfish lie I know I should be more open and unafraid to cry But I'm so scared I'm suicidal and I'm still afraid to die Maybe it's just a bad day, and I'll be fine tomorrow Maybe there's never an ending to all this pain and sorrow Maybe I'm wasting these minutes because our time is borrowed And if I keep rapping 'bout my death than death is sure to follow I just wanna let a few things off of my chest I just wanna voice every thought going through my head I just wanna feel like it's worth getting out of bed I don't wanna give up my whole life just yet