letter to myself (blessings)

I'm tired of the way I ruminate my decisions Lotta things to say but can't find the proper conviction Lotta things today that make me feel like I've been missing Recognize that I'm down and out But shit man, I'm livin' Tryna make some bread from all of my dough like the kitchen It ain't always bout the head, the love or the commitment but Perspective keeps me checked I keep a hold of that vision If I'm in too deep, feel like the whole world is slipping, still Keep my head in the clouds My hand on your shoulder Know this bond is profound and our time ain't slowing Mind body heart soul it's all interloping All the little details now that I try to notice It's a little different now that we all are grown up I could never kick my style even if I wanna Looking back it's the dichotomy that helped me show love Remember that when I blow up Work hard now I ain't resting Every day I'm counting my blessings Fucked up yes learned my lessons Every day I'm counting my blessings Down bad even when I'm tested Every day I'm counting my blessings Doing great yes learned my lessons Every day I'm counting my blessings Had some trauma from the past that recently surfaced Kind of thing that makes you ask what makes up a person One second you feel loved next second you're hurting Guess I gotta put some work in I said f*ck the cycle I'm breaking the chains Took a lot of wrongs to right you and brace for the pain Hard to swallow all this pride short of staying the same I did everything I could and I stayed in my lane Now it's like I'm living in the payout I was stuck below and I finally found my way out Living on the coast is like a Midwest playground To all my naysayers can't hear anything you say now To all the flake players shut yo ass right up and lay down Shout out to my moms for helping the day to day out Nowadays it ain't nothing to me Wake up, smoke my weed and I'll bust up a beat Still Work hard now I ain't resting Every day I'm counting my blessings Fucked up yes learned my lessons Every day I'm counting my blessings Down bad even when I'm tested Every day I'm counting my blessings Doing great yes learned my lessons Every day I'm counting my blessings